Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
