why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
