I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
