How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
