I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
