I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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