i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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