thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
pop tarts are not kleenex
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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