I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You made out with two different species that night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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