you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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