Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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