I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
