rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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