Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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