Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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