No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
