My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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