if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
