Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
MIDGETS
????
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
