it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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