Screwed.edu
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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