Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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