FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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