"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
