over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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