Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
