dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
