i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
