i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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