He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
