whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
