I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
