i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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