i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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