My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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