it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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