ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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