I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
