there was a trapeze. enough said
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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