I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
