i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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