he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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