$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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