i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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