i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
