i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
