we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
