I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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