You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
