What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
the liver wants what the liver wants
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
